My Last Drink

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging.

Whoever is deceived by it, is not wise!"

Proverbs 20:1

The two most popular articles that I have posted have been those about with my personal conversion ("1983") and my thoughts concerning the use of alcoholic beverages ("Don't be Stupid!"). Realizing that we still face the reality of deception concerning the use and abuse of alcohol, I felt moved to expand my experience of God's merciful deliverance in my own spiritual journey. So many differences began to take place in my life when I trusted Jesus Christ, that many people who knew me well were confused and concerned at my transformation. This does not mean that I was instantaneously delivered from the power of sin, for that is an ongoing process that continues today through what the Bible calls sanctification. Yet even in my baby steps of faith, I began to display a love for what I once hated, and a hatred for what I once loved. Friends and family may have been shocked at what was happening in my life, but God was not surprised at all, for this was His plan from the beginning of time as we know it. The Bible says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:8-10

When I came to a saving knowledge of God's grace available through repentance and faith in His Son, I had no idea what a strong noose had been wrapped around my life by alcohol. Drinking was not just a casual pastime or occasional habit, it was a controlling lifestyle. As a new born babe in Christ desiring the pure milk of His word, I was immediately convicted by His indwelling Spirit that I should separate myself from all temptations to consume alcoholic beverages in any type of setting. This was quite a challenge while living on a college campus, and I'm sure I often failed to be as strong in Him as I could have been. When I eventually moved into my own apartment the following year to prepare for my upcoming wedding plans, victory was easier to experience. After all, I could barely afford the rent and utilities, so groceries were sometimes unaffordable. With that being the case, the holy desire for bread would easily overcome the unholy desire for beer!

After Tammy and I pledged our vows to each other, the inner struggle to loosen and remove this noose began to be further realized. Yet even then I found it difficult to disconnect totally and completely from this monstrous destroyer. When we gathered with some of my old friends where alcoholic beverages were available, I would seek to blend in and have a few drinks. Tammy never fussed or berated me in any way, but I knew her strong stance on complete abstinence, and I certainly did not want to upset nor disappoint her. Another problem during this critical time of spiritual development in my life came from some within our own church family. Whenever our pastor mentioned the poison of alcohol in a scathing way from the pulpit, I would hear some men, who were very influential in my life, standing outside together after the service and saying something like this: "I don't care what the preacher says, I can keep it and drink it in my house if I want to." Another would say, "I agree, beer in my refrigerator is not going to send me to Hell." Listening to statements like these that came from the lips of church deacons and Sunday School teachers, softened my resistance. I still refused the temptation to have these beverages in my home, but I decided that the occasional use of alcohol in certain settings must be okay. After all, that's what I heard these church leaders saying, and I knew that they would not say or do anything wrong.

I was still growing in the Lord during this time, so I was certainly not actively looking for a party to attend or a gathering of some kind that might help me drink socially. In fact, I was assuming more and more responsibilities in our church family, and was even getting invitations to speak at other events in some of the local churches in our area. It was also during this time that I accepted the job of assistant manager at the Oktibbeha County Co-op, a local farm and ranch supply store. Our manager, Gerald Jackson, was a great guy and a wonderful mentor to me in this new endeavor. Another man of great influence was a regional salesman who called on us several times a month. He was a lay speaker in the Methodist church and very active in the Gideon ministry. I never remember a time that I saw him that he did not have a Gideon New Testament in his shirt pocket. These men, as well as numerous others, were about to have a profound impact upon my life in a way that I could never imagine.

Not long after the rush of the spring season at the Co-op had passed, Mr. Jackson informed me that we would be going to a manager's conference at the co-operative headquarters near Jackson, Miss. Leaders from all over the state, along with some from Louisiana, would be in attendance. I was very impressed when we pulled up to the multi-storied glass and steel structure, and was even more in awe of the building when we stepped inside to a beautiful vestibule with a remarkable water feature. We made our way to a very large, theater styled conference room, filled with tables and leather chairs, that gave every attendee a good view of the podium and platform. When our CEO called the meeting to order with a few opening remarks and announcements, he called on our Methodist/Gideon friend to come forward to lead us in prayer. I thought, "Wow! We're coming together as a secular company and will start this meeting with prayer! I like this!"

After the meeting, we were instructed to move to the dining hall for a wonderfully catered meal, complete with an entertaining speaker from Louisiana who was extremely funny. His performance was wholesome and family friendly, a Cajun version of the late, great Jerry Clower. Our CEO returned to close the evening by inviting everyone to take advantage of the long evenings of summer by staying and enjoying a time of refreshments outside. When we exited the building, I discovered that refreshments meant alcoholic beverages. Several kegs of beer were available, as well as a couple of bartenders to serve mixed drinks. Immediately I felt uncomfortable, but I lost sight of Mr. Jackson among the 200 or so men who were mingling and talking. I finally spotted our Methodist/Gideon friend from behind, and was approaching to ask him about Mr. Jackson, when he turned around and I saw him drinking a beer from a plastic cup. He had a beer in his hand, and a Bible in his pocket. Immediately I heard the sound of other church member's voices saying, "It's okay to drink socially and moderately, it's not going to hurt anybody." Seeing what I saw, and hearing what I heard, I walked to the bar.

It had been quite a long time since I enjoyed the taste of an ice cold brew. One cup led to two. Two cups led to three. Three cups led to four. I then decided Coke and Jack would be good, so I began to drink several mixed drinks. As the sun began to set and the bar was about to close, some of the guys decided to confiscate the open liquor bottles and the remaining kegs of beer and take them to our motel to continue the party. I helped them load up everything we wanted, then unloaded it and carried it all up to one of the guest rooms. Several guys left and returned with a large amounts of snack foods for everyone as we continued drinking. Another group eventually left, then returned as well, carrying several paper sacks. As they began to empty their bags and throw pornographic magazines to everyone still in the room, an inner voice began to say to me, "Get out, get out!" When the last two men walked into the room, one had a VCR player that they had rented, and the other had a box full of x-rated movies. The guy with the VCR saw that I didn't have a magazine in my hand, so he instructed me to turn the television around and help him set up the video player. As my hands touched the TV set, that inner voice began to scream, "GET OUT! GET OUT!" Needless to say, I left immediately.

When Mr. Jackson and I arrived for additional meetings that next morning, I was still contemplating all that had transpired the night before. He went into the dining hall for breakfast, while I sat down near the water feature in deep thought. After a few minutes, a very tall man walked up to me, extended his hand, and said, "Brother Charles, I want to meet you." This greeting startled me, for it was the very first time that anyone had used the endearing term "Brother" in front of my name. Those of us with a Southern heritage realize this title is one that shows respect to those who serve in some capacity of ministry. Helping me to my feet, he then said, "The reason I wanted to meet you, is that I'm from (and he named a town that I cannot remember, but I do know that he mentioned a place in south Mississippi) and heard that you are preaching when you have the opportunity and sharing your testimony of what God has done in your life. I think that's wonderful, Brother Charles, God bless you."

I stood there speechless as he walked away, and sensed myself shrinking from nearly six feet tall to about two inches. Mr. Jackson returned in just a few minutes and I told him about this encounter. I described the man's facial features, his unusual height, and where he said he was from, and Mr. Jackson said that he didn't know anyone like that, and that he knew everyone associated with the Co-op. "I watched him walk into our meeting room," I said. "I'll show him to you." But when we walked into the room, which was about half full at the time, he was no where to be found.

"I don't see him, Mr. Jackson."

"Well, I don't either, and he couldn't go out that exit door without setting the alarm off. I'm not sure who you met, Charles, because I've never met a man like you just described to me."

During all of the subsequent meetings, my mind was on two things: my foolish actions the night before, and this stranger that had spoken to me that morning. Riding with Mr. Jackson back home, he talked the entire time, yet my mind was still occupied with my stupidity and sinfulness. As he talked, I prayed. I finally remember praying something like this: "God, I have often prayed that I might be delivered from the evils of alcohol. I have asked you to do this in the past because I know that it is not good for me. But now, Lord, I realize that it's not about me, it's about You. Oh, Jesus, alcohol is not good for You. It robs You of Your glory. It destroys Your testimony. It's about You. Please Lord, deliver me from this deceptive evil not because of the harm that it can cause me, but because of the harm it causes You!" Tears streamed down my face as I looked out Mr. Jackson's truck window that day. He had no idea that I was involved in a moment of intense spiritual warfare. Nor was he aware of the great victory that God gave me that day in his pick-up truck. For that prayer, coupled with God's amazing grace, broke the chains of alcohol over my life once and for all. I had consumed my last drink.

Years later as my mind remembered this experience, I began to consider Hebrews 13:2, where the Bible says, "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels." I have often wondered: Did God send an angel to intercept me that day before I reached a point of no return? I really do not know the answer to that question. But I do know the reality of the experience. The Lord so touched my heart through the words of this man, or angel (if that's the case), that it forever changed my life. As the hymn writer said, "To God be the glory; great things He hath done!"

Spiritual Leaders: Born or Made?

"He who leads, should lead with diligence."

Romans 12:8

In my previous post concerning spiritual gifts, I referenced the teaching of Dr. Charles Stanley, who is the long time pastor of the First Baptist Church, Atlanta. In his study, Ministering through Spiritual Gifts, he states that the seven gifts named in Romans 12:3-8 are perpetual gifts, while the other gifts found in the New Testament are only revealed during special circumstances. He states that every believer will have one of these seven perpetual gifts, perhaps more, but one will be more dominate than the others. He also says that these gifts are resident in a person's life at birth, and will become fully operative for its God-given purposes after that person is born again. He further says that these "gifts span the course of a person's life. They might be manifested in slightly different ways, in different situations, with varying degrees of intensity, but the identity of the gift remains intact and is unchangeable." Because leadership is listed as one of these seven perpetual gifts, and because of Dr. Stanley's belief concerning these gifts, the question that I posed in the title of this post should be re-visited. Are leaders born or made?

I have often been involved in discussions concerning leadership, both spiritual and secular. Some argue that leaders are born, while others argue that leaders are made. I was blessed to become friends with Dak Prescott when he was the third string quarterback at Mississippi State University. Because of his size, I thought he was either a tight end or linebacker. He was an exceptional young man that I had numerous conversations with. He was polite, kind, humble, and would eagerly listen to me as I shared biblical truth with him. As he eventually led MSU football to unprecedented success, I read articles of his leadership. It was interesting to read how as a high school player coming to Big Dawg Camps, he would vocally encourage and uplift the other players going through difficult workouts and weight training exercises. As a teenager, Dak displayed leadership skills that are now well known from his success as a Bulldog, as well as with the Dallas Cowboys of the NFL.

In my final semester at MSU, I was in a class focused upon personal skills and techniques of successful leaders. Just a few weeks into the course, we were divided up into groups of seven to eight students. We were told that we would be getting an assignment to form a corporation, and each group would have to name a president, vice-president, and a secretary/treasurer. We were then told to form our chairs in circles, according to our group placement, and discuss and decide who the officers would be for each corporation. I remember like it was yesterday as we noisily moved our chairs around to get in place. In my group, there were a couple of students that I had met in other classes, but the rest were basically strangers. I looked at the other students, who were all quiet and looking at everyone else in awkward silence, when I finally said: "Okay, let's do this. I'll begin with me, giving you all my name, where I'm from, why I chose this particular major, and any other pertinent information that might be helpful for us to know each other. Then we'll go around the circle and allow each of you to do the same. That way, we can make an informed decision concerning our corporate officers."

After everyone had the chance to speak, I said: "Alright, we should now discuss who needs to be our president. Any suggestions?"

A guy immediately said, "You, I move that we name you as our president."

"Why me?"

"Because you've already started acting like our president, I nominate you."

"I second his nomination," was the reply of a young lady, "and also move that the floor be closed for any further nominations."

Well, guess what? I became the president! The student who nominated me became the vice-president, and one in our group who was getting a double major in business management, along with banking and finance, was named our secretary/treasurer. When our professor realized that all groups had named their officers, he asked for a list of names from each corporation, and had us return our chairs into their regular location. Then he said: "The corporation assignment is over with. Later in the semester, we will have case studies and assignments to prepare you for the corporate world. But this brief exercise was all about recognizing leadership qualities. I believe that leaders are born, not made. Now we are going to discuss why each group chose their particular officers, and how they chose them."

I realize that others think differently. In one of Bobby Bowden's books on leadership, he states that anyone can be groomed, coached and encouraged to become a great leader. I understand what he said, but I don't fully embrace his analogy. I am convinced that Dr. Stanley is correct, and especially is this so in the spiritual realm. Leaders are born. There is something unexplainable about a person who has that take-charge attitude. Yes, those with leadership skills need to have those skills developed. The opportunity to hone those skills are invaluable in preparing a leader to face greater, and more diverse, responsibilities. And in this honing process, personal failures are often the catalyst for ultimate success. In fact, Bowden said, "People that are brilliant and successful, we think they've just always been that way. That's not the case. Most of them have had some tough adversity in their life. It's prepared them. I've never felt like you could develop character without adversity. A guy who has all the money he needs and never faced any hard times, he won't have any character. But when you've had it tough, and you've had it rough, and you thought you were at the end of the rope, and you work your way out of it, that's the way you build character." Though I may not agree with everything he says about leaders, I whole-heartedly agree with Coach Bowden's understanding of adversity preparing and maturing a person to possess strong leadership qualities.

Do you have the spiritual gift of leadership? If you do, it's not because you desire to be the head hog at the slop hole! Please excuse my country humor, but I trust you can understand that simple terminology. If you desire to lead so that you might have the preeminence, you've not been gifted with spiritual leadership. This mindset clearly demonstrates a self-centered, egotistical, and unhealthy focus upon the praise and applause of men. Those who are gifted as true spiritual leaders will be those who express the attitude and actions of Christ, Who got up from the table, laid aside His garments, took a towel to gird Himself, and washed the disciples feet. Jesus is our example of an humble, pure, holy, and perfect leader. As we follow Him and His example, it will be no problem for others to decide to follow us. Why? Because they will know that we are following Jesus. Amen!

Don't be Stupid!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear,

but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

2 Timothy 1:7

If you have read my story of saving grace (post entitled 1983), you know that I spoke openly about my life and lifestyle before meeting Christ. I chose not to embellish upon the depth of my depravity, for you can certainly read between the lines and understand how far into the darkness that I traveled. In the past, I have boldly declared more openly my horrendous sin, to the degree that some pastors asked me when they discovered that I would be preaching my testimony, "Will this be the PG variety, or the R-rated version?" Some of these men heard me share my story in prison crusades, where I chose to bare my soul to those who were helplessly locked away from family, friends, and freedom. In those settings, I refused to withhold punches in presenting the power of the gospel to change any man's life!

One area, however, that I choose to be more open about today is the curse of alcohol in my past. I come from a family heritage with an intense problem of alcoholism. I'll not bring shame upon those that I love dearly that were hounded by this monster, but I will say that as soon as I began pleasure drinking as a teenager, it quickly began to control my life. I simply could not get enough, and before I was saved, I was consuming massive amounts of both soft and hard liquor products. When I drank beer, it was not one or two single cans or bottles, it was one or two six packs, sometimes more. Hard drinks were consumed straight out of the bottle, usually a fifth at a time. If I decided to mix, it would be half and half, some kind of Coke product and PGA (pure grain alcohol).

Why share this information? Basically for three reasons:

1. There were those who knew of my salvation experience who pointed me in the direction of  counseling for my alcohol abuse. They desired that I get professional and community support from groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. I have the highest respect for these kinds of organizations, as well as for Christian counselors who seek to minister to people with these kinds of problems. Yet I joyfully discovered that by the grace of God, I had the Holy Spirit living inside of me, and He had no drinking problem. In the course of time, my personal dependence upon and desire for alcohol was completely broken by the power of the indwelling Christ!

2. Because of the longevity and depth of my abuse, some believed that I may have suffered irreparable brain damage. When someone is intoxicated, they have reduced the oxygen level in the blood, and replaced it with ethanol. This not only alters short term behavior, but it can lead to long term complications due to damaged brain cells. Thank God this was not true for me, or perhaps He gloriously intervened with a miracle in my case, repairing those injured cells.

       Before graduating from MSU, I was called into the office of the head of the Management department in the College of Business and Industry. Sitting in his plush office, he opened a folder and said, "Charles please help me to understand your grades. I have your transcript from your previous experience at another university, as well as your grades since transferring to State. You have been on a steady progression the longer that you've been a student here. In fact, you have a 3.85 GPA in all of your business courses, and a 4.0 in your management classes. As a lifelong educator, what is the explanation for such a remarkable improvement?"

       Not only was he the department head and a lifelong educator, but I also knew that he was an admitted agnostic. Saying a quick prayer, I replied: "Dr. Ray, you may not want to believe this, but the simple answer is Jesus Christ. My life was a royal mess when I transferred to State, and not long after arriving I met Tammy (she worked in the Management office at that time), who led me to faith in Christ. I know that you are not a believer, but after I had an experience with Jesus, He opened my eyes to see the importance of an education, how blessed I was to have a second chance, and that I should no longer pursue the things of this world, but apply myself to do my absolute best in the classroom."

       "Well, Charles," he replied, "thank you very much. I appreciate your sincere answer. You've really given me something to consider. I enjoy having you as a student in my class, and every time I see you, I'll think about what you have told me."

3. The final reason in sharing my experience with alcohol, is because of the lax attitude among so many church members about this deceiving, destroying, and damning fact of life. I am hearing that some seminarians and younger pastors, who have a theological slant towards Calvinism, will drink socially. There are even those who will promote the smoking of fine, expensive cigars (claiming a personal enlightenment that liberates them from legalism, as well as a silly desire to be like Charles Spurgeon). The Bible says, "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whoever is deceived by it is not wise." The Bible also says, "The thief does not come but to steal, kill, and destroy." I believe he uses alcohol to destroy the lives, marriages, faith, homes, careers, testimonies and futures of those who listen to his lying tongue! And finally, the Bible says, "drunkards will not inherit the kingdom of God."

       Yes, I've had those who blow up and get in my face about Jesus turning the water into wine. My questions have always been: (1) Do you know of a certainty that Jesus drank this miraculous product? And (2), were you there to drink it so that you know beyond a shadow of any doubt that it was fermented wine instead of good, fresh fruit of the vine (grape juice)? The Bible says, "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whoever is deceived by it is not wise." I've had others speak of Paul's instruction to Timothy, "use a little wine for your stomach's sake and your frequent infirmities." Isn't it wonderful that Timothy could use these beverages for medicinal purposes? Yes, it certainly was. But why didn't he just go down to the local CVS and purchase some Maalox, or some Tylenol PM? Oh, that's right, he didn't have a CVS, nor any other kind of pharmacy. Therefore, he had to use what was available to him. Do not try to justify your petty little arguments about purchasing "medicine" at your local liquor store to a man who nearly had his life destroyed and his eternity damned by alcohol!

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whoever is deceived by it is not wise." What a simple, straight forward verse of scripture. Before I mellowed as a communicator of the gospel, I used to tell folks that the country-boy interpretation of that verse would be: "Wine (and beer) are mockers, and anything stronger than those are raging, and if you are deceived by these, you are stupid!" Now, now, don't get all mad, remember, you might be reading the thoughts of a man with brain damage.